Feeling Misunderstood?

It’s not what you say, it is how you say it

Men are already difficult to communicate with, but I have found that my boyfriend is an amazing conversationist when he considers and analyzes what he wants to say, you know, thinks before he speaks. Whenever he immediately reacts to my arguable comments, there is a trigger that takes him for 0 to 10. On the other hand, when he walks away, takes a break, or pauses even for a minute, he responds so much more calm and with clear thoughts. Some people say they are more comfortable texting because they can simply think of exactly what they want to say in a more precise and more relevant way. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with letting a man take a break and get his mind together, sometimes that freedom gives them peace of mind which will in turn do the same for you. 

Victoria, from YouTube’s “Ask Victoria” says communication is the super glue that holds people together. Even if it is your mom/dad, friend etc. You have to 

be able to tell how you feel because more than likely you may not be emotionally ready to show it as accurately. She explains in the following video that a healthy way to begin better communication is by using words like 

“I feel ___, because I think___” 

When you explain how you feel followed by what you think it shares your perspective of the situation without accusing. GREAT VIDEO 


Females and Fathers

Most women and girls alike don’t seem to realize that the very men they are attracted to are exactly like their own dads. They may not see it in front of their face but they will soon come to learn that the qualities they seek for their mate to posses is usually the same qualities in the father. After all, isn’t that your 1st example of a man? Your father was truely your 1st love. You were raised to believe that this is who you are supposed to define and determine a man to be. Be careful when accepting men into your life, most women don’t even take a second to think up a requirement list of who a man should be in fitting their needs. Now, I am not speaking of 100 bulletins like how tall and rich he should be. +Steve Harvey ‘s Act Like A Lady movies will explain that. I am speaking of the traits that will help comfort you as a women who is more than worthy of being by his side. What are the things you know and need that will make you want to be a better more nourishing women to him everyday? What does he have to prove to you before he can even get the digits to your number, your address, your attention?? Isn’t taking some time to analyze a man better than leaving yet another relationship heartbroken and resentful. 

Remember, everything that happens is your karma and God makes no mistake in timing. There is always something you could have done to prevent or lesson a failed relationship. If and when he decides he cant live up to your standards let him leave, do not consider that a failure. Consider it a triumph because you were present enough to see it ending that way and for you to know that you can only move up from here. People are so quick to jump to the next mate tagging along those same issues because you never took the time to grieve them out your life. Moving on means moving through!! You will never know the lesson you must get if you don’t ask to see it. Don’t be the child that constantly puts her hand on the stove, hoping the heat has gone down. Be the Devine Girl who turns it off before the whole house burns down. 

We as females are more mature then men. We know exactly what to ask, how to speak, and what to say. It is our ego and longing for some attention that gets in the way. Well I want to suggest that the very things that are in the way are the very things that will stop you from moving forward.